I can't break it to my heart

If it's okay,

I will leave the bed light on. 

and place your water glass where it belongs.

And if it's alright, 

I will lie awake at night, 

pretending i am curled up at your side.

You see how I am circling in these patterns? 

how I am living, out of memories? 

I am still a long way from accepting it, 

that there's just no you and me.

Did I commit a crime? 

I won't believe that loving you was just a waste of time. 

or was it in my head,

that I am reading into things that you never said? 

Because I still don't have the answers, 

to why we couldn't work it out.

I want to think it's something that I did, 

so I can turn it back around. 

I want to convince myself, 

that we're perfect in every single way.

As long as I can keep the truth away, 

from my heart.

If I still believe that you love me, 

maybe I will survive. 

So I tell myself you're coming home, 

like you've done a million times.

And if it's alright, 

I will still be loving you. 

Because I can't.

I just can't break this to my heart.