This beautiful piece, Trio No. 2 in E-flat major for piano, violin, and violoncello, D. 929 by Franz Schubert was composed for the engagement party of Schubert’s school-friend, Josef von Spaun. I often wonder why I am immensely comfortable with D, I don’t want to use the word ‘love’ here because if I define love based on my definition of love which is to no longer have a hint of selfishness in it, no fear, no dependence, no jealousy nor possessiveness, then certainly what I am feeling towards D is not love. Yet I know that I am immensely comfortable with him. Is it because at most I consider him as my best friend? A friend that causes me to be at ease, relaxed, secure, safe, unworried, contented. A friend that causes me to be happy? But why? And then I understood that it is because of life. It is because he has a deep interest in life, life as a whole, life as a continuity and because life is an ever changing process, so too will our discussions, our thoughts, and ultimat...
If it's okay, I will leave the bed light on. and place your water glass where it belongs. And if it's alright, I will lie awake at night, pretending i am curled up at your side. You see how I am circling in these patterns? how I am living, out of memories? I am still a long way from accepting it, that there's just no you and me. Did I commit a crime? I won't believe that loving you was just a waste of time. or was it in my head, that I am reading into things that you never said? Because I still don't have the answers, to why we couldn't work it out. I want to think it's something that I did, so I can turn it back around. I want to convince myself, that we're perfect in every single way. As long as I can keep the truth away, from my heart. If I still believe that you love me, maybe I will survive. So I tell myself you're coming home,...
the best thing about you is simple: you don’t get me scared. you don’t get me wondering how I stand with you, how I spend time with you, what I’m gonna talk with you, what I’m supposed to wear, how I look today, how we will walk to our future. but the worst thing about you is also simple : you make me terribly afraid. that you only happen once in my life.
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