etoiles

I'm not good enough at making poetic words I'm not good enough at doing something romantic I don't even say a thing at Mother's Day I know it. you know it You may conclude it as no care or nonchalant You may see me as devil-may-care girl You may think I give you the cold shoulder but you have to know, I never hate you. I always feel guilty after saying bad things about you to my friends I sometimes envy them who can spend time with their mother I sometimes envy them who can live normally with their family I'm looking forward to your coming at my graduation day Here, I'm not gonna say I wasn't wrong Nor show angelic face to get dad's attention I was and am wrong I did and do mistakes I'm sorry and I want to fix this Please. for you're the person I love

You know that feeling? When you’re just waiting. Waiting to get home, into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you Kept in all day. That feeling of both relief and desperation. Nothing is wrong. But nothing is right either. And you’re tired. Tired of everything, tired of nothing. And you just want someone to be there and tell you it’s okay. But no one’s going to be there. And you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. But you’re tired of waiting. Tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else. Tired of being strong. And for once, you just want it to be easy. To be simple. To be helped. To be saved. But you know you won’t be. But you’re still hoping. And you’re still wishing. And you’re still staying strong and fighting, with tears in your eyes. You’re stuggling. No, it's me. I'm struggling.

I’m a huge fan of imagination I get so high with my own delusional thought To that time when we all meet again Who are we then? Will our dreams come true? Will we share our success stories? Or tell each other that love still sucks, like the old days? Will we become those independent happy women we always dream about? Or devastated in loneliness we make ourselves? Will we be saying “it was the right path I chose”? Or regretting the overrated future plan we used to always talking about? I’m just a little coward girl, In the edge of growing up With fabolous friends and a big fat dream. Who are we when we meet again? What if we are meant to be separated? Part of destiny that collides, but not together.

One of my mistake. The biggest one.

"I had always been obsessed with lies. Seriously, truth is not interesting. at all. I’d better change all the stories to big fat delusional happy endings than get stuck in the middle of lame miserable life. Truth number one : no matter who you are, life sucks." — you know who say this. don’t pretend you don’t.